It is estimated that, on average, we spend about 2 hours and 24 minutes every day on social media. As we spend more and more time connecting with others online, it is essential to know how we can prevent online sexual violence.
What is Sexual Violence?
Sexual violence includes any type of unwanted sexual contact — either in person or online — including sexual assault, harassment, and abuse.
Forms of sexual violence include:
- Rape or sexual assault
- Sexual harassment
- Sexual abuse
- Unwanted sexual contact/touching
- Sexual exploitation and trafficking
- Exposing one’s genitals or naked body to others without consent
- Non-consensual image sharing
- Words and actions of a sexual nature against a person’s will and without their consent
- Sexual violence represents a range of behaviors
Digital Consent: How does it work?
Consent is an ongoing process of discussing boundaries and what you are comfortable with. Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious. If someone agrees to an activity under pressure of intimidation or threat, that is not considered consent because it was not given freely.
We can practice digital consent by:
- Asking permission before sending explicit messages or texts
- Respecting the decisions of others once you ask. It is never okay to coerce or pressure someone to send photos or record sexual acts.
- Understanding that everyone has boundaries around meeting up in real life. If you have met online or on an app, make sure you both agree on the next steps and feel safe and comfortable with meeting up in person.
- Asking each time. Getting digital consent is important every time — even if your partner agreed to something before, they are not obligated to agree to do it again.
How Can I Keep my Children Safe Online?
You can have age-appropriate conversations with teens and younger children about red flags to look out for that indicate an online friend may not be trustworthy.
People who sexually offend will target potential victims on platforms like social media, through online multiplayer games, or on chat apps. These offenders may send or ask for sexual content — meaning that victimization can happen completely behind a screen and within the victim’s own home.
What is grooming?
People who sexually offend often test boundaries and manipulate potential victims before committing outright sexual abuse — this process is called grooming.
Grooming is the process in which perpetrators judge how far they can push boundaries and exploit someone’s trust.
During the grooming process, people who commit sexual abuse will manipulate a victim’s trust by passing off inappropriate behaviors as normal or no big deal.
Parents can help kids identify red flags that indicate online grooming:
- Asking to keep the relationship secret
- Making suggestive or sexual comments
- Asking the child about their sexual background (have they been kissed, are they a virgin, etc.)
- Sending links to suggestive images, memes, or porn
- Asking the child to only contact them on certain apps
- Asking the child to close the door when speaking with them, only wanting to chat at certain times (like at night), or asking if their parents are around.
- Making conditions on their relationship. For instance, saying they will only continue to talk to the child if the child does something in return for them, like sending photos
- Discussing the child’s appearance or requesting to see more photos of them
- Sending the child online gifts, like gifting items in games
Parents should also always take their child seriously if they share that they had an uncomfortable online exchange with someone. Parents can also contact local law enforcement if any predatory behavior towards a child is taking place.
For more information about the Sexual Assault Awareness Month and how to prevent sexual violence online please access the National Sexual Violence Resource Center